I Wish

by mish525

Dear Mom,

I was thinking about you today as I always do.  It never matters where I am or what I am doing.  There is always a memory of you attached.  Today it was while shopping.  I happened to stroll through the shoe department as I often do, perusing the latest and greatest and there it was…a shoe you would have loved.  How crazy it is of me to attach your memory to a shoe.  Without thinking, I mentioned to my shopping partner, “My mother would love this shoe.”  She in turn asked me if it was still hard.  If it was difficult after six years to swallow the grief of your loss.  It is.  I think of you every day. 

 I remember when you would play country music while driving in your Malibu station wagon.   I would be perched on the armrest next to you. Together we would be belting out the latest Dolly or Twitty song on the radio. 

I remember the smell of the kitchen while you were cooking one of your masterpieces.

I remember you driving me to soccer, volleyball, basketball.

I remember you cheering me on in Little League.

I remember your hugs that always made me feel so safe and your kisses that made everything all better.

I remember our last hug.  I was rushing to the airport telling you I would be seeing you in a few days.  It was 5am, but you still got up that morning to say goodbye.  Those were our last words together,  Our last moment when you were my mother and I your daughter.

Oh how I miss you. 

I wish I could pick up the telephone and tell you about my day. 

I wish I could show you my wedding pictures.

I wish I could share the battle scars of childbirth.

I wish I could tell you how Nolan has found his words and Ryan has begun to crawl.

I wish I could tell you how I still cry every day that you have been gone.

I wish I could tell you one more time how much I love you.

Love,

Your Daughter